Life’s embarrassing moments

I somehow have a knack for putting myself in situations that are....well to put it simply, ‘funny’...funny at my cost...some have been so bad that even today when I recollect them, I tend to shut my eyes in embarrassment .......be it my attempt to speak a fluent Assamese line in front of my friend’s mother (who was from Assam)and landing up laughing loudly without saying anything (coz when I was framing the sentence in my mind, Kannada words kept coming in), leaving the lady looking at me in surprise and me turning red faced or the time when I received a call from an international number and I answered thinking it would be my mom-in-law who was expected to reach the US that day and I start off, ‘Ma, have you reached, did you have a good journey?’ and the person at the other end turns out to be my Boss, who incidentally was abroad at the same time......and I go...oopsss...or the other day when we were in a Bengali restaurant where the staff was speaking in Bengali and I wanted to join in too, so I started  by asking for some dish in Bengali and I say ‘Onedu plate Luchi kori’  which is in kannada instead of ‘ek plate luchi diye den’in Bengali.......the guy started staring at me and my husband had to come to my rescue by correcting my sentence.

This one I had to share coz this hilarious episode happened this morning and the ‘bakra’ was none other than me. And yes, I am writing this soon after it has happened so that I can pen down exactly how I feel...we have just had a good laugh about it in the kitchen when I shared it with my maid.

Its the 17^th of January, just a couple of days after the popular ‘Harvest festival’ – Lohri, Sankranti, Bihu etc...etc....  that was n the 14^th. Two days ago, I met this lady from our building and she told me that she had come to my place to give the ‘prasad’ but did not find me there and that she would come over again to hand over the same. So this morning, while I was busy surfing the net, lost in my ‘job hunt’ (since I am now planning to take up a job again)) when the door bell rings. I expect it to be the dhobi (the guy who irons the clothes) who might have come to return the finished garments. I see that my maid is busy in the kitchen so I decide to answer. As I look out, I find the same lady standing with another lady with bananas ad betel leaf in their hands. I call them in and ask them to be seated. I assume that she might have come to give the ‘prasad’ that she was talking about.

She is also fond of our new puppy ‘Choco’, and asks for him. I fetch the pup and while she plays with him, I ask her to excuse me so that I could wash my hands (assuming that I would have to take the prasad she gives and will not be able to do so with dirty hands). She interrupts saying that they wanted to inform me that there will be a meeting at 11.30 am on Monday to discuss a few issues of the building and goes on chatting. The banana and the betel leaf are still safe in her hands. And then she keeps jumping from one topic to the other. She seems to be in no hurry to give me the prasad, I think, and since it’s considered rude to ask for it, I politely smile and continue to listen to her.’ I offer her tea and she refuses and continues to chat.

And now, before you think that I was being greedy, well no, that was not the case, but it was the flow of events that led me to thinking what I was - first she tell me that she will be visiting me, then I see her at my doorstep with the banana and betel leaf, so what else was I supposed to expect? Well, she was here for about twenty minutes and then she got up to leave, without giving me the prasad......

She says ‘Please ensure that you come for the meeting on Monday’ and I nod......and she goes away, with the banana and the betel leaf safely in her hand leaving me wondering why did she come? I come to the kitchen and tell the entire episode to my maid and she bursts out laughing so much that tears flow from her eyes. After she is done with her uncontrollable laughter, she explains to me that the banana and betel leaf was not for me and that were hers. So I question, ‘Why would anybody come to someone’s house with the fruit in their hands and then leave without giving it to me?’ She explains to me that probably the two ladies would have visited another house before coming to ours and that as per the tradition in south, whenever anyone comes home, people offer archana kumkum (sindoor and betel leaf along with fruit) as a mark of respect (probably similar to the way we offer tea), the stuff they were holding in their hands was offered to them. So the banana and betel leaf were actually theirs and not for me. And the reason of her visit would have been just to inform about the meeting on Monday.

I put my hand on my head and I was ‘Oh God! Why was I so dumb?’ I could almost feel myself blushing at the thought that the two women must have guessed that I assumed that the content in their hands had been brought for me and that’s why I kept telling them that I would wash my hands and return.......... L  They must have their daily laughter dose for the day at my cost ...just like my maid  L L L

After fouteen years in Bangalore, I should’ve been aware of this small ritual that is followed in most South Indian homes. At least that would have saved me from this embarrassment.........