Oh! But To be Fat.......................!!

A very apt subject for someone like me to talk about, I thought...., coz who knows better than me on what it is to be fat...

Hmm...where do I start from?

Well, what better way to start than from the beginning....so the beginning it is....I was born fat...a very chubby, fair (fair by Indian standards) baby.  The nurses spoke about me at lunch about how healthy (they actually meant fat) I was. I don’t know if I was a cute baby, but most people tell me that I was a fair chubby baby. All through my toddler days, my cheeks were pulled a thousand times...at home, in the park, in the cinema, in the market, at Dolly auntie’s house, at the playground, at my cousin Mira’s wedding......It was first day at school, and I was playing amongst the beautiful Jacaranda trees near the playground when I was summoned by a few seniors.... only to pull my cheeks....and No that wasn't amusing coz it hurt. I was embarrassed and scuttled back to my class.

 Even my maid had a problem with my weight. One day I was thoroughly enjoying, wiping off the Horlicks powder glued to my fingers (Horlicks in its powder form was tastier than when mixed with milk........... but who could explain that to my daft maid?) and she complained to my mom saying that if I continued to eat like this, it would be difficult to find a match for an obese girl, when I was older....come on ...I was only six years old then, and who was she to settle on what I could eat and what not?  But my mom took her criticism grimly and there I was waking up untimely, at the crack of dawn to walk my dog (my mom’s way to ensure that I got adequate exercise by walking in the morning), my meals were timed and I was forbidden to be anywhere near the kitchen other than the meal times L. Even the dogs would get their out of turn breaks when they asked for their favorite chews, but not me.....my mom was out on a mission...a mission to make me thin... she had tried to think the unattainable, she slowly realized that it wasn't worth it and so for the sake of having peace at home, I was spared.

Probably the most irritating part then was to find clothes of my size...the only saving grace was the fact that my mom was a wonderful seamstress  and her skills were put to good use while doing up my wardrobe. I would choose the clothes in the stores and she would make them in my size at home.

My nickname – I was born at a time when everyone had a nickname and somehow most parents found the most ridiculous sounding names...in those days even celebrities were not spared...haven’t we already heard of Lolo....... Bebo...... Duggu......Gattu....., mine wasn't so bad actually, provided I was addressed with it...I had a universal nickname ‘moti’....this was how I was addressed – by buas, chachis, biji, my elder cousins and sometimes my younger brother as well....except for my parents, thankfully, I was still ‘Sonu’ for them.

Every time photographs needed to be taken, it was a torture as the camera always tended to append another two to three kilos to the already over blessed me, so I always had to hide half myself behind my brother, or my mother, or my friend and if it was a solo click, then I had to be peeping from behind the sofa or, yes, how can I forget, ‘no close-ups please.....!!’

Days turned to years and I moved from being a junior school student to a high school girl.....there was a period in between (probably the only time in my life) when I was gaining height and I was looking thin (not thin as per normal standards, but thin by my standards, actually less chubby than my usual self) that was probably the only time in my life when I got good compliments...about my looks.  But this lasted only from high school to the time I had my first child. This was also the time when I was in college and met my husband-to-be......Thank God for little mercies, imagine if he had seen me in my earlier or present avtaar, he’d probably have sprinted in a record time and never looked back.

Once my elder son was born, I had got back the fat as if it was my long lost twin from the kumbh mela and this time it appeared to have decided never to leave me. Initially, I was consoled that it happens to all first time mothers and that I would lose all of it soon, but no one told me how soon.......a few days, a few months....or a few years??? The elder one turned ten last year and I am still waiting for the fat to leave me ‘soon’.

The worst time of the day is the mornings when I need to get ready for work....no matter what you wear you tend to look the same...sloppy and yes Fat!! The only respite is hiding in the cubicle and hoping no one notices you. I do my work and get back home........the best place where no one is staring, and people at home have gotten used to me the way I am......actually I guess they don’t have a choice, as they see my struggle to get back to being thin, but not without a once-in-a-while reminder........that I still have a long way to go.

When you are fat, there is no dearth of advice either.....hey listen, why don’t you go for walks, just half an hour in the morning and half an hour in the evening or, have you tried drinking lemon and honey in the morning or the GM diet, Orange juice diet, Cabbage diet....etc etc.....In fact, there is a big booming industry out there and a lot of rags-to-riches stories of people who have taken it upon themselves to cleanse the society of shoddy, obese beings.............................Gyms, diets, fasts, weight loss centers....walks, aerobics, yoga.....Hmmm......while we poor souls sweat it out, they are happily counting their increasing bank balance.....

So while I continue my war and hopefully come out victorious....... ‘SOON’, I hope you enjoyed reading this............ J